I've come to learn how to embrace the journey of life. Life only gives us the guarantee of experiences. It is through the lessons of failure that we learn better how to succeed. I've always been one who tried to control the events in my life, until life laughed and taught me that my only control was in how I interacted with the events it laid before me.
It has been through my spiritual journey that I have been able to find peace with my life. That I am able to find joy even when shedding tears of pain. Gathering strength, to find the beauty in the moment in time that will always bring a smile to my face and gratitude, despite how painful the ending may have been. There were beautiful moments of time. That brief moment I will always be grateful for and treasure. Those moments will always hold a special place in my heart.
It is those moments that make me who I am. I embrace me. I embrace the journey of me.
My philosophy of life and beliefs have been formulated on my study of religions. I've gathered parts from various religions. I've given Christianity the most effort and attempt, but I've found all religions too limiting.
I hate labels, but if I have to label myself it would have to be an Atheist. I choose this label because I've not resonated with any of the religions Gods. Therefore, I can't embrace the theory of God based upon religious text. Though, I do believe in a higher power that governs.
I'm often asked what this higher power that I believe in, is. Most of my life I've called it Father God. Now I call it Father Universe. It is the natural laws that governs the universe. These laws are science based. Miracles to me are these type of scientific laws used, that go beyond our human understanding.
We are limited by our own knowledge. Striking a match to ignite fire would have been considered a miracle to those who were use to striking rocks to ignite a spark and gently breath it into a flame. The shining of a light from a flashlight would be seen as a miracle for those who used too lighting a candle to see in the dark.
I believe in spiritual vibrational alignment. Mother Nature teaches this. Nature naturally follows scientific laws. Father Universe and Mother Nature work harmoniously together with the universe controlling the laws that govern all and nature using those laws to govern our world.
I daily practice aligning through visualization and meditation. Health and fitness are a part of my alignment practice and why I don't enjoy processed foods, sugar, junk food, pop. It messes with my alignment. It is a continual journey that I embrace learning the lessons for greater depth and understanding.
There are five religions that I have studied in various depth to find the beauty within. To help define what I choose to believe in, at this point in my life. My spiritual journey is ever evolving, much like what we see in nature. The evolution of becoming more tomorrow than what we are today. I don't anticipate I'll ever fully understand the spiritual depth that is abundantly flowing on this earth while I'm in this realm, but I do enjoy striving to be open to learning.
I implement Hinduism belief in Karma. The belief in letting go and letting the natural consequences of life to occur. To not seek retribution, but to genuinely wish the best for others and move forward.
Buddhism philosophies I apply the most. Stepping out of center and viewing the world with different perspective to understand all perspectives. Understanding balance. We know love because we've embraced loss. We know happiness because we've embraced sadness. We know courage because we've embraced fear.
It is in Buddhism that I have gained a greater understanding that we possess nothing. Nothing is ours. We are only engaging with it for a period of time. We simply hold out our hand and let it rest for the time it desires.
People, event, possessions are never ours. We see this when we exit this realm. We take nothing with us, not even our bodies. All these simply exists separate from ourselves for a moment in time. With this understanding, I've been able to release the pain of loss and move forward with hope.
In my life, at one time or another, I have either have the things that I have treasured and held deep in my heart taken, or I have had to bravely take a deep breath and leave them behind. Experiencing so much loss I've gained a greater appreciation for treasuring the moments in time that I am given.
Relationships that last just a brief moment in time, become peaceful memories that no longer cause a tear to be shed, but instead a quiet smile. Every person who comes into my life, I am given beautiful growth experiences. These are not always the most pleasant to go through at the time, but with time they become something that I can gather strength from. Failures that cause me to gain strength and learn the lessons more on how to succeed.
From Christianity I've learned about a husband and wife relationship. The consubstantial relationship of the Trinity of separate but similar and how to apply it in marriage. My favorite pastors are TD Jakes because he just tells it how it is. Dr. Charles Stanley because he's like a father I've never known. Gentle and knowledgeable in guiding.
Joel Osteen because he's a good motivational speaker. My favorite is Creflo Dollar because he gets more deep into philosophy. I've learned the most from him.
They all have good, bad and ugly spoken about them. I disregard the comments of others and choose to embrace what resonates with me. Disregard what doesn't align with me.
I've read a bit of the Quran. It has some beautiful passages. I've come to appreciate many of the peaceful philosophies found within. I can better appreciate the culture surrounded by this religion.
With new age religions, I apply the meditation, visualization, energy aligning. I've found these religions to be less limiting. They are more open to exploring possibilities and evolving in their beliefs.
My spiritual sense has been heightened lately. I've blocked it for a long time because I feel too much and it can get overwhelming. If you read the INFJ you'll understand.
I've decided to not block it anymore. I won't hold back that side of me. It's a part of who I am and I trust the guidance it gives me. A jewel that I recently received from a kind soul who briefly guided me to understanding the importance of not blocking who I am. I'm grateful for his guidance.
My move to Florida has caused me to live alone for the first time in my life. I've always been in a relationship or with children. The move had to be expedited quickly due to a job change. Within two weeks I had to find housing and get settled to start my new job. Everything lined up beautifully and seamlessly.
I made the decision to live minimalistic this year to accomplish some financial goals I've set for myself. Clothes, computer and camera. If it didn't fit in two suitcases, a carry on and a personal item it didn't come with me. My computer equipment was on my back. It doesn't leave my side. I can replace clothes and camera, but what lies on my computer is priceless.
I sleep on an air mattress, work off a folding table and have a beautiful empty space with hardwood floors which allows me to dance throughout the day. Letting the dance within me flow effortlessly. Allowing my body to gracefully express itself. Headphones on, I dig deep inside and find the movements that flow beautifully with the emotions of the music within me.
Living alone for the first time has allowed me to continue working on developing the spiritual side and aligning myself to what I desire in life. All the experiences and failures I've experienced have given me greater insight into what I desire to achieve.
I've decided to document my new adventures. So much I am now experiencing is brand new to me. Things that I should have experienced 10, 20, 30 years ago, I am experiencing now for the first time in my life.
I'm learning more to understand my vibrational alignment with others to a greater depth. I've never been one that has had an issue with talking with another individual. Chat, face to face, phone... I can communicate easily. So I was surprised with a recent situation that occurred. I'm still trying to process this experience.
Chatting with this individual, we appeared to be perfectly aligned. He was a pleasure to chat with. He was able to articulate himself brilliantly. He was always a gentlemen. We were both ready to take the next step to talk on the phone. There was a vibrational change that I've never experienced before. I still don't understand it.
The best way I can describe it, would be through electricity. AC and DC current are not compatible. A device meant for AC current can't be plugged into a DC current outlet and visa versa.
Twice we tried to speak on the phone. I immediately froze. The conversation was awkward and brief for both of us. I believe we both felt something was off. Ever fiber of my being was ignited with the desire to end the conversation quickly.
I don't understand this experience yet, it will take time for me to gain insight. I've learned that my social media experience is having an effect on real relationships. The mistrust that individuals are who they claim to be, even with a phone call.
If it isn't face to face, it isn't real. I now ponder if that will even be enough for me. I'm a researcher, give me something to research to confirm along with a face to face... we'll be good. Of course, that could be offensive. If it is, then it isn't meant to be.
A Google search will provide plenty of information about me, that can easily verify who I am. A face to face would find the same person that I show on various social media platforms.
I've come to appreciate even more the natural progression of initially engaging online. Just allowing black words on a white screen to flow with the depth of one's feelings. I think we have gained a comfortableness in expressing ourselves in this manner. Then taking it to the next step with a phone call to ensure that the connection still flows, before taking it to the final step of meeting.
This dating thing is new to me. I really have only have dated two individuals before I started dating the man I would marry in the cult. After my divorce, the next relationship began long distance and progressed fast. I was with him for seven years.
So the thought of being asked out, being picked up at my door and going out on a date is foreign to me. I think that is going to be an interesting experience. Who knows... maybe I'll do the asking and picking up. I'm progressive.
I am fully capable of finishing this realm on my own, as a single and complete woman. If that is what occurs I am at peace with that decision. But I believe it would be a beautiful experience to have in this realm, the type of love I would like to know and experience. A love that is filled with commitment.
Love takes effort, it isn't easy. Love isn't about long walks on the beaches. It's about how to work through the challenges of life and be closer because of them. It is about understanding that life isn't going to always be filled with blissful moments. It's going to be filled with moments of bliss and moments of challenges.
I know what type of man I would want to bring into my life. I'll only date that man. The beauty of my social media experience is that I have literally talked with hundreds of men and gain insight into the type of communication I desire to have. I gained insight into the type of man I desire to have in my life.
Love for me, is feeling confident that when I walk in the door I can put down my Shield of Hope and Sword of Truth, take off my armor and just be a woman. With the close of the door, let the battle rage on outside, but in our home let it be a place of love, peace and harmony.
Love for me, is knowing that when I walk out the door, fully armed I know I have someone who back to back will battle the foes behind me and protect my back. Him knowing that he has a woman strong enough to battle the foes behind him and I have his back. The power couple. The one that others look at us and can see and feel something different is there.
On IG, I recently I saw the most beautiful photo I have seen of a couple that were ex husband and wife. They were at some event and saw each other there. They spoke and had someone take a picture of them. It was incredible. I couldn't stop staring at the beauty that I saw in their eyes.
He tenderly looking at the woman he once loved. It was clear that he was reminiscing on beautiful memories together. His chin gently resting on her head. Her eyes filled with love and joy from his simple touch and gesture of love and kindness. Filled with the beautiful memories they once had. It was the most beautiful photo I've ever seen of what true and ever lasting love is.
I was thrilled for this couple. I wish them the very best in maintaining that moment. Hoping that moment in time, might allow them to reunite the flame of love that clearly was still deep within. The happily ever after story of love lost and regained.
Looking at the photo, I realized at that moment. That's exactly what I want. That type of love that endures the test of time and distance. That despite the obstacles of life, a love that is easily rekindled into a flame. The love that goes beyond what was once thought to be an ending, to find it was just a pause. I truly hope this couple had just a pause in their lives together. I will be the first to applaud if I ever see a photo of their marriage. We all desire happy endings. They deserve a happy ending.
Alignment is occurring with me. I am not seeking to find, but rather striving to define. February's IG posts are entitled Aligning in Love.
I know that the man I bring into my life will be one lucky soul. I also know that I will be one lucky soul. Because I have high expectations of who he will be. I am aligning to be the kind of woman that kind of man would be aligned to.
I am filled with excitement for this years journey. I am aligned in three of the four areas. The final area will be aligned in a few short months. Physical, Relational ad Spiritual alignment is complete. I have some financial goals I committed to and am near achieving. With them, I'll be fully aligned with what I desire to have in the man I would want to bring into my life.
Trusting in Father Universe and Mother Nature to connect the vibrational energies and bring us together. I believe all the pieces of this part of my journey have been put in place. There is a strength within that I haven't felt in a very long time. I am filled with gratitude for every single individual and experience that has occurred to help me be the woman I am today. It is because I am who I am, that I can walk with confidence into these new experiences I will be engaging with.
New horizons, new adventures, new experiences. Taking a deep breath... I step forward and upward. I am doing this!