I am in my "Zone" with my headphones on, listening to music and writing. In this space I am "home". Thoughts can flow freely in my mind. I've always been home in the depth of my mind. I'm in New York... the state. My sons like the house cold. I laugh and tell them I can always layer up. So I sit at my computer with knit gloves on my hand with the fingers cut out so I can feel the keyboard. A blanket on my lap. Two fleece lined yoga pants, three layers of tops. I feel the cold filter in from the windows by my computer desk and watch the snowflakes gently fall. There is beauty in being in this morning's "Zone". It all flows perfectly with my emotions of the day. The good news is... when I breath out I'm not seeing my breath so the house isn't that cold... just to me.
I'm tired. The last few days of the month are always strenuous. It's crunch time to make sure that the next month's training modules are ready. Doing 6 posts a day for 30 days equates to 180 designs and writings. The research behind it. Creating the strategy behind the designs so that they look appealing in the three column format. I implement my degrees heavily in what I do. Visual, UX Design, UX Research, Human Computer Interaction... the list goes on.
I love what I do. It flows through me seamlessly. The music I have today is a perfect representation of when I am in my ultimate, "Zone". Celtic instrumental with the drums beating, the strings singing to the depth of my soul always encouraging me to push forward. To stay focused and pull out that extra bit of strength to power through.
I love what I do. It flows through me seamlessly. The music I have today is a perfect representation of when I am in my ultimate, "Zone". Celtic instrumental with the drums beating, the strings singing to the depth of my soul always encouraging me to push forward. To stay focused and pull out that extra bit of strength to power through.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUq2HSRHc7Y&list=PLdtLy149PeU63L15GG7GJ5R-SgxfnrXGL
I spent the morning in deeper thought and meditation. Something I do at the beginning of December as I reflect on the past year and my journey. Taking the time to reminisce about the year's events, the people I've met. Those that have deeply impacted my life. A tear fell today.
I start to envision the next year, set my goals and develop my strategy built upon the lessons of failure that I've learned for the year. There have been many this year. But I am a stronger and better person because of them. Without my failures I wouldn't be where I am today. So I am grateful for the lessons, as painful as they have been.
My biggest failure this year, was a totally new experience for me. One that came as a surprise. The dreaded "F" word. FIRED! I've never experienced that before... it was quite fascinating. I laugh because while I was being fired from employment, one of my clients was designing the custom 18k gold and diamond life path pendant that I wear around my neck, in appreciation for the work I had been doing for him over the last several years and to express how much he appreciated how easy I was to work with.
Like me, there is only one of these pendants in the world. The two extremes occurred at the same time. "You have no value to our success, you are extremely valuable to my success." I find that fascinating, in and off itself. There is great value in that lesson, that I know has had a positive impact in my life and how I process events that one would initially interpret as catastrophic.
I learned a valuable lesson in this experience. That stark contrast. As I said before, I'm a Driver personality. I'm either loved or hated. In one moment I was experiencing both.
The business woman in me will tell you that they made the right choice. The team could not get past the "storming phase". I could go on with a list of choices I would have recommended they did differently, had I been brought in as a consultant. But the reality was, I was brought in as an employee.
As I watched top talent stream out this company's door either on their own choice or by similar action, I had been warned by others who had left, to prepare myself; that the firing would be coming. I'll not share the drama, but will share the amazing path that this one event put me on.
When I left the parking lot, I was thrilled that the hostile work environment would no longer be a part of my daily life. I was energized and ready to do what I do best. Pick myself back up and move forward. My mind was firing back and forth to the strategy I would take.
Being fired, lead me to join programs to learn social media. I'm on IG because I was fired. Joining the Lewis Howes program, was the stepping stone to me writing my story. My books, the training modules, this website, this very post all have been stepping stones that were placed in front of me because I was fired.
My boss, incredible woman. My favorite boss. If I saw her today, I would give her the biggest hug and thank her for firing me! I would eagerly shake the upper managers hands that were a part of that decision. I'm grateful to them for firing me. I'll not share the drama. Go down the finger pointing path. I'll do what I do... take the hit to protect the project and team, wish them the best and move forward.
Quitting wasn't an option for me. I don't quit. I made a commitment to the project, I fulfilled my commitment. They were left with a backlog full of stories and an analysis of where the project stood based upon the velocity of the three teams and the backlogs story points. I handed this to them as they handed me firing papers. I won't regret my final decision, to deliver my best to the very end. That's who I am. That's what my clients rave about me and my resume is filled with recommendations. I'll take responsibility for my failures and learn from them. I won't take responsibility for other individuals poor choices and decisions.
Being fired put me on an incredible path that I couldn't be happier with!
- Fired as an employee - at the same time my clients are praising me and giving me recommendations on how easy I am to work with.
- I'm sent my path necklace from my client who I've worked with for several years in appreciation.
- Began my 80 hour work week.
- Join Lewis Howes Program on social media.
- Reconnected with Mark Dawson writing program I had previously joined.
- Set up my Instagram account.
- Met the most incredible individuals on IG.
- Picked up an incredibly talented and amazing woman as a client.
- Began writing my story.
- Began writing training material.
- Implementing a more disciplined health and exercise routing in my life.
- Took up running.
- Took up boxing.
- The man who has captured my heart met me on IG.
- Created this website.
- Began to get back into coding.
- Updated my resume/portfolio website.
- Began writing posts.
- You are reading this post.
How can that path not be seen as being incredibly beautiful! It doesn't matter how much you are knocked down. What matters is how many times, you rise and step forward. Thank God I was fired! I am a far better individual because I was fired! Embrace the journey my friends... embrace the journey.
I'm seeing quite a bit of movement in the industry. The last minute scramble of use it or loose it budgets. Scrambling to utilize those budgets for new hires. Next month will be a good month to help get prepared for first quarter interviews.
Sometimes I think what I do is selfish, because I think I learn far more than what I provide. Another book goes into my pipeline. My focus is to publish the three that are already in the works along with the three training modules associated with the books.
The hardest part of what I do, is to not get emotionally attached to anything that I do. To always be critical of my work. I'm going through another rewrite of my book, The Art of Defining Me. The original draft perfectly illustrates the emotion of where I was when I first put my words onto the page. When I first put my face in front of a camera and talked openly about my experiences inside the cult environment. They were raw and real.
The rewrite is taking on a different tone, one that I believe will get the intent and message of my sharing my story better. The emotional impact will still be there, but the presentation is taking a softer tone. I believe it is worth putting off my original release goal to do this rewrite.
So much has happened in my life since the first writing and videos were done. I fondly reflect back on the one individual who was there every night, reaching out to see how I was doing. Reminding me to eat. Helping me to laugh. I didn't realize it back then, but I've come to know the greater depth of the sadness I see in his eyes. While our stories are different, I now know that he understood the pain of putting my life on paper. I know he understood the tears that would fall on my pillow when I would lay down to sleep. The tears that would blur my screen until I could no longer write. He understood the tears I openly shared when I recorded. And a tear falls in gratitude to him.
I watch as my followers decline and I actually smile. It's all apart of the social media business. It's the end of the year, and everyone is reevaluating their business presence. My post engagement is up, that is what really matters to me. It helps me to know that those who are following are finding value in what I am sharing. The UX Researcher in me is now creating the strategy for the next two months training modules.
The business woman in me, is creating the strategy for the goals I've set for the first quarter 2019. The success matrix to measure my success. Reevaluating the strategy I took in this last quarter of 2018. I'm back into the energy shooting back and forth from my right and left brain. Strategy and Design, the Yin and Yang of what makes me who I am. When the shards of energy fly from one side of my brain to another in lightening speed, I am in my element. I am in my "zone". In this state, my fingers fly across the keyboard. I can hardly keep up with what is flowing from my brain to my fingers. Headphones on, the drums beating in my ear. God, I love what I do.
Success will occur, because I learn from my failures and I never give up. And that my friends is where I leave you for today.
Exercise Commitment for Today
I pretty confident I haven't called them correctly. Bottom line is... I'm going to pick up 8 lb dumbbell weights and move them up and down in various positions until I want to cry.
The hardest part of what I do, is to not get emotionally attached to anything that I do. To always be critical of my work. I'm going through another rewrite of my book, The Art of Defining Me. The original draft perfectly illustrates the emotion of where I was when I first put my words onto the page. When I first put my face in front of a camera and talked openly about my experiences inside the cult environment. They were raw and real.
The rewrite is taking on a different tone, one that I believe will get the intent and message of my sharing my story better. The emotional impact will still be there, but the presentation is taking a softer tone. I believe it is worth putting off my original release goal to do this rewrite.
So much has happened in my life since the first writing and videos were done. I fondly reflect back on the one individual who was there every night, reaching out to see how I was doing. Reminding me to eat. Helping me to laugh. I didn't realize it back then, but I've come to know the greater depth of the sadness I see in his eyes. While our stories are different, I now know that he understood the pain of putting my life on paper. I know he understood the tears that would fall on my pillow when I would lay down to sleep. The tears that would blur my screen until I could no longer write. He understood the tears I openly shared when I recorded. And a tear falls in gratitude to him.
I watch as my followers decline and I actually smile. It's all apart of the social media business. It's the end of the year, and everyone is reevaluating their business presence. My post engagement is up, that is what really matters to me. It helps me to know that those who are following are finding value in what I am sharing. The UX Researcher in me is now creating the strategy for the next two months training modules.
The business woman in me, is creating the strategy for the goals I've set for the first quarter 2019. The success matrix to measure my success. Reevaluating the strategy I took in this last quarter of 2018. I'm back into the energy shooting back and forth from my right and left brain. Strategy and Design, the Yin and Yang of what makes me who I am. When the shards of energy fly from one side of my brain to another in lightening speed, I am in my element. I am in my "zone". In this state, my fingers fly across the keyboard. I can hardly keep up with what is flowing from my brain to my fingers. Headphones on, the drums beating in my ear. God, I love what I do.
Success will occur, because I learn from my failures and I never give up. And that my friends is where I leave you for today.
Exercise Commitment for Today
I pretty confident I haven't called them correctly. Bottom line is... I'm going to pick up 8 lb dumbbell weights and move them up and down in various positions until I want to cry.
- 100 sit ups
- 100 push ups (They are going to be girl ones I guarantee... working on building up to do the real kind. Yes... It'll take me all day to get them all in. My get off my bootie and move time.)
- Three sets of 45 second planks
- Three sets of dumbbell curls with 8 lb dumbbells (Yeah... my arms are pathetic)
- Three sets of triceps dumbbell extensions with 8 lb dumbbells
- Three sets of overhead dumbbell arm lifts with 8 lb dumbbells
- Three sets of open dumbbell extensions with 8 lb dumbbells