When the sun falls in the sky, the horizon bows down and honors it by displaying brilliant hues of color. By taking a moment to view a sunset, we give tribute to the day. Regardless of whether the day was filled with laughter or tears, it was a moment in time that we can never get again. Lessons were learned. Emotions were understood.
With confidence we know that in a few short hours the sun will once again rise. A new day will begin. More experiences and emotions will occur and be felt. Many don't ever see the sunrise. They are still asleep. They miss the moment when a commitment to the day is made as the sky celebrates the rising of the sun.
Life is much like a sunrise and sunset. We experience this with love. We experience it with careers. Moments where we rise and moments when time has come to end, knowing a new day will begin. It is why I write. To give my words wings to fly. To give life to what no longer is with me.
The moments when you watch the first breath and moments when you tragically have to watch the last breath of someone who is dear to you. They became extensions of ourselves because of the sunrises and sunsets that were experienced with our time together.
For those of us whose pets become a part of our family, we experience this with them as well. As I sit and watched the sunrise after seeing the sunset of the passing away of our dog Kneisha, I reflect on this cycle of life. For all of us, there will not be another sunrise with Kneisha. Just a few months before, her beloved companion Vash passed away. Old age had taken its toll on both of them. I knew that when one passed, the other would soon go. Still mourning the loss of Vash, we had Kneisha to help comfort us. But her body shut down and in her heart I believe that she wanted to once again romper and play as they use to do when they were pups. At least that's what I think when I think of the two of them together. That's what I hope has happened.
There is no evidence that is what will occur. It could very well be that their last breath was all there is of their existence. It is the unknown that we cling on to something more in life, beyond this life. To comfort ourselves, we cling onto hope of life continuing in another form. That we are more than just a relatively few short years on this earth in comparison to the life of the universe.
Religions profess they know this to be fact. Yet science can't give any evidence for it to be true. In the end, my left brain acknowledges no evidence, but my heart will still cling onto hope of life after life.
With the death of Vash and Kneisha, it causes me to reflect on my own mortality. I shouldn't be alive, yet I am. I shouldn't have had the sunrises that allowed me to see my grandchildren. I shouldn't have had the sunsets of love's breaking heart. Yet I had them. I can't tell you why. The memories I have with my children as they are now grown. I shouldn't have had. Yet I do and I am grateful for every breath that allows me to share these moments in time with them. Despite our busy lives, we ping each other every day, reaching out through time and space. Words that are now written down and we will always have with us.
It's why I write. I write because it releases a part of me and places it on paper and in electronic format. I live through my words. Long after I am gone from this world, my words will live on. It is in that thought, that I write without any promise that my books will sell. I am at peace with that thought. It is why I self-publish. Because just as I control if I breath in another breath, I have control of whether I publish another book.
It is my feeble attempt to maintain control of some aspect of my life, when there is so much of my life I have no control over. My writing and my words. I choose to give them wings to fly. Where they go once I release them, I will never know. I will never know if they touch someone in their time of need. If they help someone get through a challenging time. If they give hope to someone when they are feeling hopeless. All these are out of my control. What is in my control is my ability to write. To let my fingers fly on the keyboard and share my thoughts.
As I held Kneisha as she took her last breath and whispered of our love for her, that she would soon be there with Vash and he would protect her just like he always did. I promised her words that I couldn't know if they were true, but I hoped they would be. In speaking the words it gave them life as her last breath escaped her. Writing them down gives both Kneisha and Vash life. A push of the button and they are given wings to fly. Their memories will now soar across the sky and the world.
It is that thought, that gives me peace. That they will always live on. In another realm. In another space of time.
Tears fall... I let them fall.